


Feelings are Irrational

by ninanna



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Claustrophobia, Gen, Kind of introspection, M/M, Mostly Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-04
Updated: 2014-10-04
Packaged: 2018-02-19 19:14:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2399723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninanna/pseuds/ninanna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is another busy Friday afternoon at Akashi Corporation and Nijimura's sole wish is for his work day to end so he can relax a bit. Unpredictable elevators and the cruel Fates have other plans. At least the miserable turn of events allows him a rare moment of innocent intimacy with his normally ruthlessly driven manager, Akashi Seijuurou, which in turn proves him once again that feelings are indeed irrational.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feelings are Irrational

**Author's Note:**

> I was stuck in an elevator and I do have a slight fear of elevators so I started thinking about my favourite characters to distract myself... and behold, this was born. I'm sorry, I just cannot help crave vulnerable Akashi.

 

“Have you scheduled a follow up meeting for NextGen Sim Framework?”

“Yes.”

“Can you forward the meeting invite to Hanada-san from R&D as well?”

“Already did, thought you’d want him in the loop.”

 

Akashi smiles, satisfied, whereas Nijimura can hardly contain himself from sighing in exasperation. He knows that part of Akashi’s uncharacteristic eagerness to confirm everything is due to the high amounts of caffeine in his blood.

 

He should not have allowed Akashi to drink so many energy drinks. His manager, the Senior Director of Operations and future CEO of Akashi Corporation, is already hard to deal with and quite honestly a control freak even when he is not overly stimulated with multiple cans of Red Bull. He almost skips to the elevators, a very unusual sight and Nijimura briefly wonders, does Red Bull indeed give one wings? The idea of wings – literal wings – on Akashi does not even perturb him, he realises as his mind conjures up the image; the famed heir is already very divine in his manners and appearance, a pair of large feathered structures would only emphasise said ethereal aura and authority, he guesses.

 

The elevator rings signalling its arrival and Akashi enters, a smile still tugging to his lips before apparently recalling yet another detail and interrogating Nijimura about it:

“Have you finished the sizing specification for the new datacentre in Beijing?”

“No.”

“The deadline—“

“Is in two days. I am aware. Look, we were working all night for the Neptune deal, weren’t we? I didn’t have time for it. I’ll finish it by tonight.”

“Send me a copy when you are done, then.”

That does it; Nijimura loudly exhales his frustration. It is as if extra energy has sent Akashi’s need for dominion overdrive. It is unbearable. He really needs some break, luckily after the quick lunch (that is much delayed and bordering dinner territory now) and then the Lotus Contract Review Meeting (irritatingly scheduled to such a late hour in afternoon), he can call it a day. Maybe he will go out for a run or better yet Tatsuya’s gym, a few rounds of boxing would do wonders to his pent up stress. Oh, but he has to finish the sizing plan. Well, he can always finish it at home afterwards?

 

The elevator suddenly shakes and comes to a rough halt, pulling Nijimura from his thoughts and extracting a series of garbled curses from his lips. He normally never curses around Akashi, the ever-so-polite young master. He turns to his back, about to apologise for his rude commentary when he sees Akashi’s previously abnormally ecstatic face in a fearful grimace.

 

It is baffling.

 

Nijimura has spent his last three years almost shadowing the young man but has never seen him scared or even surprised of anything, at all. Yet, here is the same almost-clairvoyant always-preeminent man obviously afraid, clearly shaken – literally too, his delicate hands holding onto the wall of the elevator are trembling. Nijimura forgets his apologies, a rush of concern overwhelms him instead and he scoots closer to his boss,

“It must be a hiccup in the service,” he says, keeping his voice as nonchalant as possible.

There is a side of him that wants to hold on to Akashi’s hand to keep it from shaking or ask the young man if he has claustrophobia or tell him that _it is okay_ , _it will be okay_ , but all of these options would either immediately or eventually bother Akashi. There is one thing Nijimura has learnt in his three years being Akashi’s assistant: the man cannot handle being vulnerable. His pride is overgrown and though he can control it in best of his days, he can still throw tantrums of an overachieving brat at times at the sight of slightest mistake or weakness on his side. So Nijimura keeps his voice indifferent, his stance closer to Akashi but not touching as he leans forward towards the internal panel of the elevator and presses the aid button.

“Hello?”

“Yes, hello. Our elevator has just gotten stuck.”

“Oh, which floor does it show currently?”

“The fifth.”

“Okay, I will inform the technicians.”

“Thanks.”

 

He wonders what he should do, how long will it take for technicians to take them out, and just how badly Akashi is scared of being enclosed in tiny spaces. He turns back to face Akashi, hoping to gauge an answer at least to the last of those questions, and finds Akashi attempting to maintain a stoic face while trying his best to stand despite his evidently wobbling knees.

“I—“ Akashi starts, takes a deep breath, “I don’t like elevators.”

 

“ _Yeah, that much I figured…_ ” Nijimura thinks to himself. He nods to Akashi’s words then plops himself to the ground, sitting on the floor,

“Well I just hate ‘em…”

“You do?” Akashi asks, a bit curious and suddenly more trusting, and slowly descends to the floor as well. Nijimura congratulates himself internally for at least giving Akashi an opportunity to sit without lowering his pride.

“Yeah. The apartment I lived when I was in college, back in the States, was on the 7th floor of an old building. The elevator would get stuck often. Here we are lucky though, I bet they’ll come pretty soon. All high technology and well-paid staff.”

“Hmm…” Akashi mumbles, his hands are on the floor on each side of him and curled into fists. At least they stopped shaking, Nijimura thinks, but slightly concerned that Akashi is probably digging his nails deep into his spotless, soft palms. It has always been one of the rather intriguing aspects of Akashi for him. From his childhood delinquency to long shifts spent in freezers of the local supermarket, Nijimura’s tough youth left his hands full of callouses and scars. Akashi’s, on the other hand, are flawless. Hands of a true of ‘young master’; he has probably never touched anything too heavy or ragged that it would deform his hands so hideously. Once, he had caught the sight of very small blemishes, tiny spots of roughened skin at the upper corner of his palms, underneath his pinkies. He had asked Akashi out of curiosity about them during a bout of drinking, in celebration of a project well done. Akashi had explained that they were remnants of kendo, which he has been practising since childhood.

 

Thus the only marks on Akashi’s beautiful hands are of sword. _How fitting and exquisite._ Also, maybe Nijimura has a hand fetish.

 

“Are you…” Akashi starts then, disrupting Nijimura’s thoughts that were going in a direction not-so-innocent and hence Nijimura is much appreciative of this distraction and looks expectantly at Akashi’s face but somehow at the moment the words seem to come rather difficulty to his otherwise eloquent manager.

“Are you,” starts Akashi once again and this time follows up, “afraid of elevators? Because of… you know getting stuck in them so many times?”

No, he is not. Not at all. He is not sure what to answer though. What would calm Akashi more? The idea of a mutual phobia or comfort of being with someone who is unafraid? But then lying to Akashi is never an intelligent plan; even if his exceeding acumen is currently affected by anxiety, he will be able to figure out the lie eventually. Truth it is then. But maybe with a dash of comfort?

“Not really, but it is tiresome. We should be out soon though and we can at least converse in the meantime.”

Akashi nods pondering actually god knows what and absentmindedly pulls his knees to himself; like this, coupled with his average height and thinner-than-average body frame, he looks smaller. Despite knowing that this is a man so powerful, he could overcome anything, stand defiant to any and all, Nijimura feels an urge of protectiveness. He cannot help it; feelings are irrational. He is wondering if the not-so-subtle hints of encouragement regarding their situation are helping. He is wondering what else he can do to assist Akashi. _He is wondering…_

 

“Do you think Engineering will agree to local data clause? For the Lotus deal?” he asks finally. It is out of blue and completely unnecessary. Because, _of course_ they will agree. Akashi already agreed and regardless of how much of a jerk Akashi’s cousin who is currently presiding over the Engineering Department is, he is nowhere near as influential as Akashi. Still, it is a valid topic of conversation and it has nothing to do with elevator. That is the important part: when he was dealing with his mother’s bouts of anxiety after his father’s death, the therapist had told him that if the patient is unwilling to discuss openly and there is no easy way to remove the source of anxiety, best is to distract them without dismissing their fear.

Before Akashi can answer though, the elevator rattles again. Akashi’s eyes grow large with horror for a moment and Nijimura holds onto him out of reflex; a sense of securing the other even though there is no real threat. Feelings are indeed irrational. A second later, there is no more rattling and Akashi is looking at Nijimura’s hands, one holding tightly to his hand near him the other on his knee. Nijimura flusters a bit; sure they have been close, but Akashi often minds personal space, they have never touched each other so intimately. He feels that Akashi needs this, but how to convey this to a man who would be so offended from just admitting such a basic yearning?

Well, he will have to lower himself.

“Do you mind?” he asks, though there is nothing to suggest on Akashi’s face that he minds, on the contrary the redhead seems slightly relieved at the touch. He could have mentioned a reason, any reason, but it would be a lie and hence obvious to Akashi and there is perhaps no need to lie anyway. The truth, just subtly veiled and expressed in a roundabout way seems to be enough for them both as Akashi nods silently that _no, he does not mind_.

Perhaps it is his inclination to provide support (because God knows he spent most of his youth on just that: providing support, to his ailing father, to his mother, to his siblings, to his family) or a side-effect of their strong mutual trust that his hand easily slips into a careful motion of uncurling Akashi’s fingers from the tight fist and instead intertwining them with his. Akashi’s hand is sweaty; this is probably the only time he will ever get to touch it when it is so. Once their fingers are securely tangled, Akashi’s breathing relaxes and his face shows hints of relief. It feels like the best compliment he has ever gotten from Akashi, even though in all honesty he has received quite a few; he is indeed the only one to receive some in the whole company that many others envy him for that fact alone. He himself has always found them awkward.

 

“They will have to.” Akashi says then, his voice calmer now – _thank God for that_.

“Huh?”

“The Engineering Department. They will have to agree, I think the clause benefits us. We can market it as how privacy-sensitive our company is in regards to end-user data.”

“Oh, so that’s why you didn’t push the Legal team to revert it?”

Akashi simply smiles, there is a glint in his eyes that of a strategist who can think ahead not just one or two but dozens of moves. Nijimura has always found this devastatingly attractive, mostly because it is a quality he lacks the most desperately. He smiles in return and inadvertently his thumb starts drawing soothing circles on Akashi’s knee.

“So I should brace myself for your cousin’s tantrum during the meeting then, huh?”

“He is your superior.”

“Not my _direct_ superior. He could not fire me.” Nijimura shrugs, Akashi responds with a voice terribly serious that it clenches Nijimura’s heart… a bit;

“ _No one_ could fire you.”

“You could…” Nijimura responds leisurely which causes Akashi’s eyebrows to furrow,

“But I will not.”

“Hmm, what makes you so certain?”

“Do you know how long your predecessor lasted in the job?”

“I heard rumours that it was only two months?”

“Yes, and he was the longest serving one.”

 

Nijimura snorts, “You’re not that bad actually, I don’t get them.”

Akashi is clearly intrigued upon the casual comment from his subordinate; “On a second thought, maybe I will fire you.”

 

They both laugh at that.

 

Finally, Akashi takes a long, deep breath, exhaling loudly; Nijimura squeezes his hand a little in his own larger one. Akashi stops speaking and Nijimura is out of bullshit to make conversation out of, still, _maybe_ they don’t necessarily need to converse, he begins to think, as Akashi’s demeanour calms down considerably and at one point he even closes his eyes. Nijimura wonders what would happen if Akashi fell asleep like this – not that he would, right before such a critical meeting; _no way_. There had been times though, when no imminent danger to his perfect daily schedule was present (or sources of nervous pressure that are being deliberately ignored) and Akashi fell asleep in front of Nijimura, at the office, or in a cab taking them from the airport, or in his study when they are working at Akashi’s apartment… He has watched Akashi sleep quite a few times in the past and is probably the only one who has, at least in the last few years, considering how lonely the successful heir is. Perhaps, ‘lonely’ is not the right word to use; for all intents and purposes, Akashi does not seem lonely. He seems willing and even appreciative of his own solitude. Then there is Nijimura, the almost permanent exception to aforesaid solitude. A fixture in Akashi’s life, courtesy of his workaholic ways, the most obvious sign of how blurred the boundary between work and private life is for Akashi. Sometimes, especially after last minute cancelled dates or miserable all-nighters, Nijimura wishes he worked less, that he had a 9 to 5 boring job. But in truth, Akashi’s company rarely ever bothers him, his career is full of potential, and the firm pays well. Really well. _Really, really well_.

 

After more minutes of silence where both are individually lost in their own thoughts, tiny sounds of intervention are heard and then some voice calling out for them:

“You there?”

 

“Yes,” Nijimura calls and is suddenly in a tough, tough predicament. He needs to separate himself from Akashi for the sight is simply unacceptable for their public image yet he honestly does not want to. It feels wrong, somehow. Feelings are truly irrational.

 

It is Akashi who disentangles their fingers first and then slowly stands up, with a sigh Nijimura follows suit as well, wobbling a little as his legs seem to have fallen asleep. Within less than two minutes, the door of elevator is forcefully opened by the technicians, they are revealed to have been barely out of the fifth floor – the elevator’s floor levelling almost midway of the door frame. Akashi is composed and silent throughout the whole ordeal, when a technician offers a hand to help him get down (the height is not that high and Nijimura simply hopped down by himself, but it is still significant considering Akashi’s stature), Akashi declines very politely. He comes near the edge, kneels down and without sitting, using one hand as a pivot jumps down. It reminds Nijimura of those gymnasts who can so gracefully move their body around.

 

They don’t have time to grab lunch anymore, which is a big shame given how hungry they both are. Akashi turns towards the stairway, keen on not taking the elevator for the trip to the first floor, where the meeting room resides. Nijimura stops him though before he takes his first step and asks him to wait a minute before rushing to the other side of the floor. When he returns, it has already been three minutes and there is a tiny scowl on Akashi’s face – because that’s how Akashi is: he does not mind making others wait, but he hates waiting himself. Nijimura thinks it comes with the territory, being an heir and all, kind of necessitates being a bit of a drama queen. When Nijimura gives him what he’s holding though – a bottle of water and a chocolate bar, Akashi’s scowl disappears into a content smile. He thanks politely as he turns towards the stairs again, Nijimura following him. He eats and drinks methodically, by the time they reach the second floor both are finished, and once they enter the first floor, he throws each piece of garbage into the proper recycling bins lining the corridor to the meeting room. When they arrive, all other required parties are already in the room, including Akashi’s arsehole cousin, the Director of Engineering. Akashi reaches for the door knob then pauses.

It is uncharacteristic. Not Akashi being late, but Akashi stopping his movement – any movement, mundane or grand – at the last second like this. He does not turn when he speaks, and he speaks very quietly, if they were not standing so close to each other perhaps Nijimura would not even hear it.

“Thank you,” he says and Nijimura is about to open his mouth to quickly mention that it is really ‘no problem’ but Akashi does not give him the chance; “no, I mean, _really_ , thank you.”

 

Then Akashi turns the knob and enters the room, Nijimura following behind wordlessly and thinking that _yeah_ , he _really_ does not understand what his predecessors’ problem was; Akashi is truly not that bad.

 

Not bad at all, in fact.

 

* * *

 

 

The meeting proceeds as he predicted: the Director of Engineering (‘the Akashi who shall not become the CEO’) is displeased with “the retention of sensitive local data within borders” clause, claiming it will “screw” their upcoming centralised architecture. But the Director of Operations (‘the Akashi who shall become the CEO’) smoothly shatters every one of the arguments put forward and underlines the benefits of the decision. Without any surprise, by the end of the thirty minutes of word games, the latter is the victor. They are the first ones to exit the room under the poisonous glare of the Engineering folk but Akashi is as nonchalant as ever.

They do not take the elevators again, and instead languidly and silently walk down the stairs to the ground floor. Nijimura bids farewell to Akashi, promises to send him the sizing specs later that night, and is about to take off, walking briskly to the glass doors of the building’s entrance when Akashi calls for him;

“Nijimura-san!”

It is always a sight to watch Akashi walk. He walks with the determination and grace of a royal prince even if he is actually just going out to grab a juice box. It is ridiculous. It is quite beautiful. Akashi walks towards him and comes to a halt only when they are… rather close. Frankly speaking, it _is_ an invasion of his personal space, not that Nijimura particularly cares but it is not very usual for Akashi; that much is for sure.

“Nijimura-san?” he repeats and Nijimura cannot help his lips move into his iconic frown, aware of the fact that those rare times when he is personally stopped by Akashi right when he is leaving are always about new requests for work, new tasks. Often hours, hours, hours long new assignments. And here he was planning for a calm night and relieving some stress and—

 

Akashi’s thin lips turn upwards.

 

It catches him off guard because Akashi does not really smile when the matter is work. It is a bit awkward. The way they are standing. The way Akashi is smiling. The way the gossip-addicted staff of the front desk are staring at them.

“You are hungry, right? I was wondering if you would like to grab dinner together?”

 

“Sure, why not” he answers before he even thinks about it.

And there goes his plan for the evening. There goes his chance of truly getting away from work. There goes his hope of quiet and solitude. And somehow, instead of feeling down, he feels better, he feels glad, he feels rejuvenated. _How is that possible?_

 

As Akashi smiles tenderly ( _too tenderly_ for an office environment and his own almost-dictatorial persona, Nijimura concludes) and struts past him, walking out and already taking out his car keys from his pocket, Nijimura following behind cannot help his scowl dissolve into a smile of his own.

_Feelings are irrational, indeed._

 

(Also, “ _how can a man with such short legs walk so fast? It is unfair_ ”, he thinks to himself – only to himself because the topic of ‘height’ is a no-go with Akashi.)

 


End file.
